Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
