apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
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Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
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I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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