bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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