You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
