physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
