i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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