Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
