My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
honey bunches of taint.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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