your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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