glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
