Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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