Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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