he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
