I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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