This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
