I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize