He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
