I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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