on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
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I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
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i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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