I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
