It's like God shit irony all over that family
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
