He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
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He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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