All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?