let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dating After Heartbreak
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.