i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
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I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
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The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.