Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
