I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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