Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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