I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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