I seem to have left my pride at pride
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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