google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
