Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!