i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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