How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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