the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
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going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
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Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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