1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
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The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
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Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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