the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize