They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize