You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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