Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
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