I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
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I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
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Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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