what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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