Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
