i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
