The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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