Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Two words: nipple clamps
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