I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize