I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
