so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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