If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
