Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
