During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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