I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize