I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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