i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
