Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
