i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
