he wants to bone in the snuggie
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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